Sick of fitspiration memes chock full of the same old weight loss quotes? We are. That’s why we thought we would dust off our Googling gloves, trawl the archives and bring you some fat-related quotes you might not have seen before. Some might inspire and make you smile, but they will all hopefully show that you are not alone in how you feel and how you act.
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From the eat less and move more school of thought comes Arnie’s easy way of knowing if you are fat:
“It’s simple, if it jiggles, it’s fat”.
At my heaviest and when I wanted to be alone, I still had lots of friends. Roger Dangerfield wasn’t one of them:
“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”
Roseanne Barr gives some advice to all of the overweight and overwrought keyboard warriors:
“It’s okay to be fat. So you’re fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.”
Even now that I’ve lost 160lbs I share Jo Brand’s eating disorder:
“I must be an anorexic because an anorexic looks in the mirror and sees a fat person”.
You don’t need to be Einstein to know how difficult life can be:
“The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.”
Wise words from Kelly Osbourne which might apply to a few of us:
“I call myself a FFP: former fat person, and when you’re an FFP, you will always see in yourself what people used to bully you for.”
JK Rowling’s magic words:
“I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’?”
The torture of dieting as outlined by Stephen Phillips:
“In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and chains. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale.”
Fat people are the majority, according to Jay Leno:
“For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn’t that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you’re average – hey, let’s get a pizza!”
Dolly Parton obviously never read the MAN v FAT book (which tastes of vanilla):
“I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Mark Twain sums dieting up neatly:
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”
Would you believe Jason Statham has even considered dieting?
“When I’m getting ready for a movie, let’s just say my diet is ‘The Antisocial Diet.’ I don’t go to restaurants. I don’t eat what I really want to eat. I don’t eat much. I eat small things frequently. Lots of protein and greens. And I don’t eat with people, because there’s a tendency to get social and then to overeat.”
John Candy knew like most of us know:
“I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy: eat a proper diet and exercise. All I’ve got to do is apply it.”
“I’ve got a slight weight problem… I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression… along with a lot of pizzas!”
A final prayer, from Dave Allen:
“Lord, if I can’t be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.”
The Amazing Loser Quote, from Tracy Smith:
“I have a doctor’s appointment on Monday; I’m not even sick – it’s just that I’ve been working out, and I want someone to see me naked.”
I had to include Steve Wright:
“I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.”
“Smoking cures weight problems… eventually.”