I know we’re all sick of themed health days, but today Wednesday 1st of March is World Compliment Day, which sounds great! You probably think so too because you’re always thinking about other people in a positive way. You might tell from this introduction, but the art of the compliment doesn’t come naturally to men. Psychologists talk about the oppositional nature of men stemming from competitive alpha pack behaviour, but perhaps the truth is that we just don’t get as much practice as we should.
It’s a shame because compliments are a powerful tool that can help build positive relationships between men. However, many men struggle to give compliments to other men, often because they are worried about appearing vulnerable. But the truth is, giving compliments is not only a natural and healthy way to show appreciation and respect for others, it can also help to break down toxic masculinity and promote a more open and accepting culture among men.
If you’re looking to celebrate World Compliment Day with some banging ‘ments then here’s how you can go about it.
- Be specific and genuine
One of the most important things to keep in mind when giving compliments is to be specific and genuine. Instead of just saying something generic like “good job,” try to point out something specific that you appreciated about the person’s work or behaviour. For example, “I really liked the way you handled that difficult situation in the meeting, you stayed calm and professional throughout and that helped us all stay focused.”
When you give compliments that are specific and genuine, it shows that you are paying attention and that you care enough to notice the details. It also helps to build trust and respect between you and the other person, which can lead to a stronger and more positive relationship.
- Focus on character, not appearance
Another important point to keep in mind when giving compliments is to focus on character rather than appearance. While it’s certainly fine to acknowledge someone’s style, grooming or weight loss, compliments that focus on appearance can sometimes come across as superficial or even objectifying, especially if you’re noting the tone of a team-mates’ thighs in the changing room.
Instead, try to focus on the person’s character traits or actions. For example, “I really admire the way you always take the time to listen to other people’s perspectives, it shows that you value their input and that you’re a good team player.”
By focusing on character traits rather than appearance, you can help to promote a culture of respect and appreciation that goes beyond external appearances.
- Don’t be afraid to show vulnerability
Men are sometimes hesitant to give compliments to other men because they are worried about appearing vulnerable or “soft.” However, showing vulnerability can actually be a sign of strength and can help to build deeper connections with others.
When you give compliments, try to do so in a way that shows your own vulnerability and openness. For example, you might say something like, “I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate your hard work on this project. I know I don’t always say it, but it’s really important to me that we have a strong team and I couldn’t do it without you.”
By showing your own vulnerability and expressing your own needs and feelings, you can create a space where others feel safe to do the same, which can lead to more open and honest communication and stronger relationships.
- Practice active listening
Finally, it’s important to practice active listening when giving compliments. This means taking the time to really listen to what the other person is saying and responding in a way that shows that you understand and appreciate them.
When you give a compliment, take the time to listen to the other person’s response and to acknowledge their feelings. For example, if someone responds to your compliment with “Thanks, but I really didn’t do that much,” you might respond by saying, “I understand that you might not see it that way, but I really appreciate the effort you put in and I think it made a real difference.”
By practicing active listening, you can show the other person that you value their perspective and that you are interested in building a positive and supportive relationship with them.
And that’s it – get out there and sprinkle the good stuff around, it’s free and it makes everyone feel better, what other motivation do you need?