It was the word “big” that left an indelible mark on Jay when he met people he hadn’t seen for a while. Even though he’s 6’7″, he felt that he knew what they really meant. Read on and see how he turned his weight around and made a new life for himself at nearly half his weight.
Name Jay Bae
Age 22
Height 6’7
Weight at heaviest 400 (181kg)
Current weight 229 (103kg)
How long did it take you to lose it? About 10 months.
What’s your history with weight loss? I’ve always been a bigger kid, but around puberty I entered a really dark point in my life. I was pulled out of public school and put into an online/charter academy so I left the house much less frequently and pretty much never saw the friends I had from school. I was gaining weight, and unbeknownst to me, also suffering from depression and extreme anxiety. I was always in sports growing up and was still a little hefty, but stopping sports and not going anywhere sent me on a downhill slope.
How did you find life when you were bigger? Awful. I had tried “dieting” a couple times with my family, who are also quite big, but that stopped after about a month each time. I had just settled with the fact that I’d always be obese, nothing to be done about it. One of the main problems I had with it was how embarrassing it was to reunite or come face-to-face with people or family I hadn’t seen in years. Knowing that they’re seeing what I thought to be a monster when they looked at me. I’m also very tall, so being very fat just made me appear even bigger around other people.
I remember distinctly going to a church gathering at the church my family used to be a regular at, these people hadn’t seen me for near a decade and the main thing I’d be told by the people there was, “You’ve gotten so big”. Big. It stuck with me for some reason, not tall, big. And I knew they were right, I was just…big. I also hated how awful I would feel after gorging myself on food after a big meal, where I’d sometimes go back for seconds or thirds; not just emotionally feel but physically be in pain from how full I was.
I hated having to shop at the big and tall stores for something as simple as pants. I hated doing that so much that I pretty much only ever had like two pairs of pants at a time. My clothes would rip, or tear, or stretch, I just didn’t care enough to change the way I lived to fix it. I had extreme foot pain from just walking around a grocery store. I had to wait for a few seconds just to ease the pain in my feet from walking.
What was the point that you decided to do something about your weight? I pretty much only ever weighed myself at the doctor’s office when I was asked to. I was used to seeing 380, 390, 400 and everything inbetween. But one day I got on our home scale and saw 360 a number I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. 360 is still very big but it ignited the thought in my head that I could actually lose weight.
What prep did you do before starting to diet? I wouldn’t say I prepped much at all really. I just decided to stop snacking throughout the day and eat healthy, balanced meals. I also started going to my local Planet Fitness every other day or more. I didn’t really have a life before my weight loss, so it was easy to find the time.
What would a standard breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, drinks be before your weight loss? I honestly cannot even give you an idea. I ate whatever was available to me. We ate out a lot. And our home-cooked meals were almost never accompanied by a green. And almost always fried in some manner. I just didn’t care. I wasn’t a sweets person, I preferred savory food. I ate a lot of rice. A lot. I cooked a lot of Korean dishes, so rice always went hand-in-hand. I loved pasta too, the cheesier the better. Fried chicken, pork chops, pizza, chips, ice cream… You know, the works!
And what would you eat after your weight loss? For breakfast I would have a bowl of oatmeal topped with an egg, baked veggie, and a tiny bit of sodium-free soy sauce. For lunch I’d have a fruit like a banana or apple and maybe some cheese and nuts. Dinners were always a cut of chicken with a varying veggie as a side. Usually broccoli or zucchini. As for beverages, I basically exclusively drank water and lots of it. It helped keep me feeling fuller throughout the day and definitely helped with loose skin along the line. I wouldn’t call it a snack but I also took up chewing gum; I knew that I was a food addict, so having something to chew on that had a flavor helped me a lot to ease that craving.
What was your technique to lose weight? It was simply to eat less and do more in my day. I entered a calorie deficit of about 1500 a day. I knew that that was lower than what my body naturally burned in a day so anything I could do to remain active during the day would help that much more. My trips to the gym consisted of weight training for around 10-15 minutes, followed by 10-20 minutes of light cardio.
What three things did you learn along the way? Three things I learned along the way were one, body dysmorphia is very real and very tough to fight. I still have a hard time seeing my current reflection and not feel like I felt a year ago. Two, losing 170+ pounds is expensive! I’ve gone through two entire wardrobes since starting my journey; started at 3x, eventually went to 2x where I thought I’d remain, but found out I’m actually small enough to fit in 1x! So I guess while it is expensive, you open yourself up to being able to wear 1x-3x tops, great for when thrifting! But impossible with pants, which are less budget friendly.. but hey, I can fit into the pants I wore during middle school again! … Just a little tall for them. Lastly, I learned that life is actually fun! I’m glad to go out and do things now that I’m not embarrassed to be in public or around friends. I learned that I really like to wear nice outfits and feel confident in public, something I never even dreamed of before.
What tips do you have for other men who want to lose weight? Keep trying, it’s possible. Even if and when you hit a slump in your weight loss, keep pushing!
If someone is reading this and they recognise themselves in you, what would you say directly to them? You won’t always feel the way you feel right now. You just need to focus on you and your goals. The road looks impossible to pass and you will have bumps along the way, but continuing on is more than worth it. It’s given me a whole new lease of life, it will for you too.
Yeah some things don’t change because you get skinnier, but a lot of things will, even things you don’t even know about yourself yet. I’ve experienced things since losing weight in only nine months that a year ago, never even crossed my mind as a possibility. So whatever rut or hole you feel like you’re in because of your weight, know that there is a completely new life waiting for you on the other side of it. You really just need to try.
Our thanks to Jay for sharing his Amazing Loser story with our MAN v FAT readers, it’s always inspirational when someone meets the adversity that they face and come out the other side looking so amazing! Congratulations Jay!
