If you’ve just started on a weight loss kick then you might start attending a gym for the first time. Gyms are complex places with a whole set of unwritten rules and etiquette, which can make the whole thing pretty off-putting for a newb. To give you a headstart we’ve put together 21 pieces of truly appalling advice. Remember: don’t follow these words of wisdom. DO NOT.
Really snap your neck into every movement
People go to the gym to learn, so give lots of unrequested advice
Eat 20kg of protein with every meal
How will your muscles know they’re working hard if they can’t hear the weights dropping?
Feeling the burn is good, hearing it is better, smelling it is best of all
If someone has a great ass, tell them! If they don’t, tell them that too!
Chalk the hands, chalk the face, chalk the floor, it should look like Scarface has been using the machines when you leave
If you don’t know the name of the muscle just say the limb name and add -cep to it e.g. legcep, shincep
Never unlock your knees
No pain, no gain. No blood, no good.
How heavy? Pick a weight that makes your vision blur
Everyone wants to see you helicopter in the changing room. They say they don’t, but they do
Multitask – spot someone while you’re on your phone, listening to an audiobook or chatting with a friend
You’ve had a good workout when all of your facial blood vessels are visible and throbbing
Grunt like you’ve never grunted before
Towel share for the environment
Verruchas burn calories
If you can’t be bothered to wipe the sweat off a machine just smooth it over evenly
Can’t remember a stance? Your feet should be as wide as your height.
It will never not be funny to tickle someone’s armpits while they have a weight over their heads
Don’t leg skip day
Enjoy!
